What was Grandma’s Plan?

There are two thing I can with absolute certainty. She wanted to to be her granddaughter if only for a year. This became her objective at some time before August 3, 1958. I pose this question because I can say with all but complete confidence, the path she set in motion on this Sunday afternoon was not something she did for me. Nor for my parents. She had her own purpose, her own agenda. Now of course, on some level, she felt that she was doing this for me — as I was unhappy as a boy — and for my parents — as most definitely my parents needed all the help they could get. However even with her very good intentions on these points, bottom line she wanted me as her ‘granddaughter’ and she made sure she got what she wanted.

While I definitely do not know when Grandma first came up with the idea of raising me her granddaughter nor when she started to proactively work towards that goal, it does not seem unlikely that it had to have been before she started taking my out shopping as Veronica. On these shopping trips — which often included dining out or a movie or a swim at a local pool — she always introduced me as her granddaughter Veronica. More importantly maybe, she always used these trips as a chance to spoil her granddaughter. The essential component of whatever plan my Grandmother had was my desire to be a girl and my willingness to stay in Spokane to experience life as a girl.

There was a second aspect of her plan that is not known. According to the arrangement made on August 3 with my parents, I would remain in Spokane for only one year and then I would re-join my family in Rosalia. However as you will learn in subsequent posts I remained in Spokane for seven year. I spent seven years including the first six years of my grade school education as Veronica, as her granddaughter, as a girl. There would never be another meeting like we had that day. I was never asked do I want to stay or do I want to move to Rosalia. It was my choice in the summer of 1965 to leave behind my life as a girl — returning to my life as a boy. I have no doubt that if this decision had been hers, Grandmother would have been seen me receive my high school diploma as Veronica.

The Big Question — So How Much Of This Was Me?

As mentioned, her plan — whatever it may have been — to a great extent dependent upon my willingness to be her granddaughter. The August 3 family meeting was not the first time the subject had been discussed. My parents had spoken to me and had my grandmother. Both had done so with the expressed intent of doing what was best for me. My parents wanted me to move to Spokane and my grandmother wanted me to stay. However my Grandmother was really offering a better deal. Stay in Spokane with and I could be a girl all the time. Move to Rosalia and I would never be a girl again. If I had known the term at the time, to me, the decision was easy. It was a no-brainer.

However my question is not about the decision I made on August 3. Even as I assume it likely that Grandma wanted me to be a girl and she did everything she could to make it, I have to wonder if any of this would have happen if I had not decided at the young age of three that I wanted to be a girl, that somehow it was better to be a girl, that I had been cheated by being born a boy.